Guns N' Roses
by GrangerDanger112
Summary: Emmett makes one stupid mistake and Rosalie starts hunting up the ammunition! Oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Guns N' Roses. *sigh*

**I SAW THE MOVIE!!!It was awesome!!!But I wasn't too happy about how 1)Alice had maybe 5 lines in the whole movie, 2)Jasper had maybe 2 lines in the whole movie, 3)There wasn't enough Alice and Jasper, 4)They made Jasper look like a fool, and 5)It went so fast. It didn't seem like 2 hours long. But my favorite part was the fight scene – Ashley Greene was right. That part is awesome! All in all, Twilight is my 2****nd**** favorite movie. The Titanic tops all.**

**The story behind this story is I was in the car with my parents going to church, and they were listening to 70s or 80s music. I was listening to the wonderful thing that saves me daily called my iPod. Anyway, I was writing too and I glanced up at the little screen thing on the radio. It said Guns N' Roses on it, and I was like GENIUS NEW ONESHOT IDEA!!!So here it is. My genius new oneshot idea.**

Guns N' Roses

BPOV

"Edward, where's Emmett? And why is Rosalie foaming at the mouth in her room?

Renesmee ran up to me, a shocked expression plastered on her face. "Aunt Rosie's foaming at her mouth?"

I laughed. "No, honey, that's just an expression for how angry she is."

"Why is she so mad?"Renesmee sounded concerned now.

"I don't know, sweetie. Let's ask your father."

As soon as I said that, Edward was at the bottom of the stairs, still looking like a Greek god.

"Daddy, why is Aunt Rosie so mad?"Renesmee ran out of my arms and into his. He walked back over to me, carrying her.

"I can't really tell. I think Emmett had something to do with it, though."He looked slightly confused. _"She's repeating so many cuss words in her head that very few clear thoughts have broken through."_He said that so quickly and quietly that Renesmee didn't notice.

"What have you heard? Besides the…other stuff."I asked.

"Some stuff about Emmett redecorating their room with posters and such of his favorite singing group…"He shot me an apprehensive glance, more than just what he said burning in the look.

Then I remembered what Emmett's favorite group was. "Oh. _Oh._ Um…wow."

Edward nodded. "She's trying to decide what to do. Emmett's in hiding."

"Where is he?"Renesmee asked again.

"I think he went hunting with Esme. He called Carlisle, but he said that he had to work." Then Edward burst into random laughter.

Alice came bouncing down the stairs. "Why is Emmett and Rose's room covered with posters and CDs of the Pussycat Dolls?"

I fake-gasped. Every adult knew that Emmett's favorite band was the Pussycat Dolls. "What, Rosalie wasn't enough for him? Wow."

Edward laughed harder. "She heard that comment and decided what to do. She's going to shoot him."

Alice began giggling. I was thoroughly confused. Jasper must've felt that onslaught of confusion, because he was then rolling down the stairs head over heels.

"Drat it Bella, that hit hard! Good thing I wasn't by a window or something. Esme would've killed me for breaking another window. Why are you so confused?"

"I don't get it. Rose is going to shoot Emmett, but it won't hurt, because we're vampires."I tried to organize my thoughts enough to say that.

"It feels like a paintball would to a human."He shrugged. "Knowing Emmett, he'll be so shocked that his wife shot him, he'll go into an emotional breakdown and force it into hurting."

I laughed at the image of Emmett dry sobbing on the floor screaming in pain that really wasn't there.

Alice and Jasper piled onto the love seat and flipped on the flat screen TV to a presidential debate.

"It's too bad that I can't see who will win. Stupid loopholes."Alice mumbled.

"It better be McPalin. I'm not voting _for_ McCain, I'm voting _against_ Obama." Jasper mused.

"Anyway, what exactly is Rose going to do?"I turned toward Edward.

"She's grabbing all the guns she can and practically going wild now. When Emmett comes into view, she'll shoot him. Of course, it'll reflect off of him, but he'll be so shocked that he has a meltdown."

I giggled. I could hear Rosalie running upstairs, probably searching for more guns.

Something zipped down the stairs so quickly that even I didn't catch what it was. It came to a standstill, and I saw that it was Rosalie – at least I _think_ it was Rosalie. Her hair was in a huge mess, her clothes were ripped. She had a wild shine in her eyes, and her expression was livid.

I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer. This did it. Edward and I burst into hysterical laughter. I was so glad that we didn't have to breathe.

"Jasper, where do you keep your rifle from the Civil War?"Rosalie spoke so fast that even I had to concentrate to keep up.

Jasper chuckled. "Back of Alice's closet, top shelf."

Rose shot up the stairs like a bullet out of a gun(no pun intended). Edward and I continued laughing while Jasper chuckled, wondering if she'd figure out how to use the rifle. Alice giggled.

"Jazzy, I think they're going into hysterics. Can we slap them?"She said playfully.

Renesmee ran to the front door and pulled it open. She must've seen Jacob in the window. I quickly regained my composure, as did Edward, when we heard him come through the front door.

"Hey Jake."I smiled at him just as a gunshot went off.

He looked around quizzically. "Why did I just hear a gun?"

"Aunt Rosie's mad at Uncle Emmy."Renesmee answered.

Jake's eyes went wide for a second, and Edward chuckled. "No, it's best you don't."

"What?"Alice, Jasper, and I all questioned at the same time.

"Jacob just said that he shouldn't cross Rosalie today for fear of running with 3 good legs for a day or two."Edward responded.

"Wow, did Jacob just think logically?"Alice feigned surprise. Jake just glared.

"So what did Emmett do? He didn't steal my idea of putting Barbies everywhere, did he?"Jake looked skeptical.

"You were going to do that?"Alice's expression turned to that of real surprise.

"I still am, so shut up."His voice was quieter now.

I returned to the original question. "No, Emmett didn't steal your idea. He put pictures and posters of his favorite singing group all over their room."

"Who's his favorite group?"

"Take one guess."Alice started singing "When I Grow Up", and Jacob laughed.

"Well, well, Blondie wasn't enough for him?"He chuckled. He had said that just loud enough. Rosalie must have heard him, because another gun went off. Jacob jumped and immediately stopped laughing.

Alice and Jasper turned back to the debate while Jacob played with Renesmee. I lie my head on Edward's shoulder, glad to have some peace. Couldn't I have just a couple of seconds of tranquility?

Exactly 2 seconds later, a door slammed loudly upstairs.

Ugh. I didn't mean literally a couple of seconds.

Rose ran full-speed down the staircase and through the living room.

"I NEED MORE AMMO!!!"She screeched, never breaking her sprint.

I giggled again. She only needed one gun, why did she want more? I hefted the shield out of my mind and asked Edward silently.

"Effect?"He guessed. He paused, then spoke again. "Emmett's coming back."

Rose heard him and burst out the back door with Jasper's rifle and a loaded pistol. She stood in the middle of our vast yard, facing in the direction that Emmett would emerge from.

A couple of minutes later, Emmett and Esme broke through the trees and into our yard. Emmett stopped cold while Esme kept walking to the house. She stopped right outside the back door and turned to watch the show. Alice pulled Jasper out the door, and I followed, pulling Edward. Jake grabbed Renesmee and followed us.

After a few awkward seconds of Emmett just standing there with a guilty expression plastered on his face, Rose spoke.

"So I wasn't enough? You had to get 5 more to be happy?"She practically spat. Edward and Jacob laughed quietly.

"Rose, I –"Emmett began.

"Save it, Emmett." Rosalie cocked the rifle and pulled the old trigger.

Nothing.

She tried a few more times, each attempt more unsuccessful that the previous. She finally screamed out a profanity and threw the gun to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"Jasper leapt to the ground to catch his ancient gun. It hit his palms hard, and the impact caused the bullet to finally shoot out of the barrel. The bullet hit a tree and drove right to the middle because of the pressure. Jasper sighed in relief.

Rosalie tore her black eyes from the embedded bullet and picked up the pistol.

"Let's try this again."She mumbled while cocking the gun.

Emmett's eyes grew wide as he realized that this gun would work.

A loud BANG resounded off of the trees and house. The lead bullet simply bounced off of Emmett's rock-hard chest. His blank stare lasted for exactly 3 more seconds – then he screamed.

The scream wasn't anything you'd expect to hear from a tall, buff guy like Emmett. But based on Emmett's personality, it was everything you'd expect – shrill and girly.

He fell to his knees, one hand clutching his "wound" while the other grasped the air wildly. He continued his screaming. This went on for quite a while.

I was finally bored with it. Alice, Jasper, and Esme had all gone inside a little while ago, along with Rose, who had exited before Emmett's screams.

"Okay, this is getting old."I carried Renesmee back into the house with Edward and Jacob following.

Inside, Alice had her XM radio blasting on channel 7 – decades music.

"Alice, why the 70s?"Jacob complained, reaching for Renesmee. I surrendered and handed her to him.

"Wait for it…"She grinned.

"And coming up next, we have a full marathon of Guns N' Roses!"The radio host enthused and began playing some old Guns N' Roses songs. We all cracked up.

We were still laughing when Carlisle walked through the front door.

"What happened?"He asked, confused.

"Emmett…Rose…Guns…"was all we could get out.

He still looked quite confused.

I jabbed my finger at the little digital screen on the radio. It said "Guns N' Roses" in tiny black digital letters.

This was all the information Carlisle needed.

**The End!!!**

**So that's that, Guns N'Roses is finally complete! I actually started writing this about 2 months ago, but I never had time to write, so I finally finished it a couple of days ago. Review, review, review, please!**


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